This is what is going on in my brain at the this time, i am not going to look over it cause i want to leave it as is, so maybe you can see that there is alot going on in my brain.
Even though everything is going right, why is it that i have the feeling that i lost a best friend, When i have not done so yet. As a matter of fact i have a new best friend! He is really kool, i have been able to hang out with him some these last few weeks, but yet i am not ready for it to be over i am not ready for school to come back and make us part. See here is the thing i am ready for school. I cant wait! But i am just at a point where i feel like i want to stand in the rain for no reason! I am so lost right now! I am ready to know what is next i am ready for these painful feels to pass. I am not sure what to do with myself right now i just want things to be different! I guess that is what i cry out i want things to be different i am not sure why but i feel like if things were different i would not feel like this. I wish i could go back and change so much! I guess i can say i feel alone. Even though i am not alone at all! I dont get LIFE i dont understand. I dont understand you God, I know that my acts of worship are not a practice for me. I know that you are there, i just need you in this time and i need for you to make it better! I guess i shouldn't be asking for help i need to find my way out of this! I guess i just need to find a way to out of this, i guess i need to understand whatevery one is saying..."saying bye is normal," Well i just want to say it is not normal for me at all! NOPE, i guess you can say that no matter how many times i go through this i will still feel this way. The funny thing is i just went through this not to long ago! This time i feel as if i am not like last time, i feel like i MAY be able to over come it! You know what i am not sure, but i am going to have to say i am going to have to stay strong, even if the strong fall sometimes! WOW i can say that just typing all this out makes me kind feel better, even though i am not who will read this, or who will care. I do know that i am going to have to overcome this and be strong, but i do have to say that i am human and i have feelings. I am just glad that i will have Ashley B. next year everytime something like this happens! Plus i can just type away about it!
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