NOTHING AT ALL!

Nothing is falling into place!

Ya know I don't understand Life! I guess i am not ment to understand life, but that is ok. I just want things to fall into place, and I know I cannot make them fall into place, I can do all I want to try but if it does not fall into place there is nothing i can do! I am just at a point in the road where there is nothing i can do there is no road to turn on. It is at a dead end completely! I don't understand what I am doing wrong at all! I am trying my hardest to understand what God has for me in His plan, I am trying my best to do what is right. I am trying my hardest to find the good in this right now! God I am crying OUT yelling at the top of my lungs! WHAT DO I DO! What is the next step! I am just lost. You know I want to be mad at God but I can't. I can't find it in my heart to be mad! I know that He has shown me light in different times, and at this point I am waiting for that light to come on and guide me to the right way. I don't understand at all why, but I know that i will not let this get to me. I know that I will keep on being happy and joyful to people, cause what is going on in my life should not keep my from speaking LIFE! I don't want to speak death! So now i am pray, I am crying out, I am yelling, I am asking, I am waiting, I am ready for God to show me how to make the best out of everything right now. I am not sure how to react! I am not sure of what to do, I am not sure what to say. I am ready God. I am standing here with arms wide open for you to help me help myself! So here I am not at the end of the road, walls broken down, arms open wide. God lead me...